this is why i love Batman Begins

:“What chance does [this city] have when the good people do nothing?

-Rachel Dawes, Batman Begins.

We have none.

 

whatever happens has happened

It’s over. Live life. Let it be.

Time to get on with my life, or whatever is left of it.

I’ll fucking kill myself if that’s what it takes to make a difference for Rag. I swear, I will. We have to fucking win something to shut the naysayers up. Or die trying.

SNDCC. I know I can do this shit. I just need the inspiration.

To my dearest Sheares Hall, I’m here to Kick Ass and chew bubblegum, and I’m all out of gum.

I need to make a difference. Validate my existence. Be whatever I can be and stop being mired in whatever I wasn’t. Stop being needy and whiney and dependant. Be my own person. Be the AWESOME.

Woop-dee-doo. Let’s rock! =)

.

(…crap after posting this I noticed my previous post called for a spicy and interesting post about relationships but I’m sorry for disappointing my wonderful readers again. NEXT TIME, I SWEARS IT.)

 

about that issue

Okay, I lied. Next post will be the interesting post about relationships.

This post however, is about xx. What is xx? Those of you that know, know. Good enough for me. And to make it more interesting, I’ll do it in songs. Whee.

:sO tEcHnIcAlLy tHeSe aRe “sOnGs fOr xX”?

:you are so not funny.

As it stands, the current situation is: Muse - Time Is Running Out

I think I’m drowning
Asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
That you’ve created
You’re something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction
You will be the death of me
You will be the death of me
Bury it
I won’t let you bury it
I won’t let you smother it
I won’t let you murder it
Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can’t push it underground
You can’t stop it screaming out
I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I’m addicted
Now that you know I’m trapped
Sense of elation
You’d never dream of
Breaking this fixation
You will squeeze the life out of me
Bury it
I won’t let you bury it
I won’t let you smother it
I won’t let you murder it
Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can’t push it underground
You can’t stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
You will suck the life out of me
Bury it
I won’t let you bury it
I won’t let you smother it
I won’t let you murder it
Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can’t push it underground
You can’t stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?

Half of me wants to say: Midnight Hour - Running Away

:dOn’T lIe aNd sAy tHaT iT’s oKaY
iT’s aLrIgHt iF tHeRe’S nOtHiNg mOrE tO sAy
sO i’M rUnNiNg aWaY
i’M lEaViNg tHiS pLaCe
yEaH, i’M rUnNiNg aWaY
i’M rUnNiNg aWaY
dOn’T tElL mE i’M tHe oNe tO bLaMe
iT’s tOo lAtE fOr yOu tO mAkE mE sTaY
nO, i wOn’t sTaY
sO i’M rUnNiNg aWaY
i’M lEaViNg tHiS pLaCe
yEaH, i’M rUnNiNg aWaY
i’M rUnNiNg aWaY
aNd fAsTeR tHaN yOu cAn fOlLoW mE fRoM tHiS lOnElY pLaCe
aNd fArThEr tHaN yOu cAn fInD mE, i’M lEaViNg
yEaH i’M lEaViNg tOdAy
aNd i, i’Ll nEvEr lEt yOu fInD mE
i’M lEaViNg yOu bEhInD wItH tHe pAsT
nO, i wOn’T lOoK bAcK
aNd i dOn’T wAnT tO hEaR yOuR rEaSoNs
dOn’T wAnT tO hEaR yOu tElL mE wHy i sHoUlD sTaY
aNd tRy, aNd tRy tO uNdErStAnD mE
aNd tRy tO uNdErStAnD wHaT i sAy wHeN i sAy i cAn’T sTaY
i, i’M mOvInG oN fRoM tHiS pLaCe
i’M lEaViNg aNd i wOn’T qUiT rUnNiNg aWaY
i’M rUnNiNg aWaY
i’M lEaViNg tHiS pLaCe
yEaH, i’M rUnNiNg aWaY
i’M rUnNiNg aWaY

But the other half wonders if I should: Relient K - Give Until There’s Nothing Left.

:no one told me
the right way
the right way to go about this
so i’ll figure it out for myself
’cause how much
is too much
to give you
well i may never know
so i’ll just give until there’s nothing else
yeah i’ll give give give (until there’s nothing else)
give my all (until it all runs out)
give give (and i’ll have no regrets)
i’ll give until there’s nothing left, i’ll give
no one told me
how bad i need you (need you)
but i somehow arrived
at that conclusion all by myself (all by myself)
and i want
all you have to offer (to offer)
so i offer myself and i’ll just give until there’s nothing else
and i’ll i’ll give give give (until there’s nothing else)
give my all (until it all runs out)
give give (and i’ll have no regrets)
i’ll give until there’s nothing left
i’ll give give give (until there’s nothing else)
give my all (until it all runs out)
give give (and i’ll have no regrets)
i’ll give until there’s nothing left
sometimes I think
like all I ever do
is ask for things
until i ask too much of you
but that’s not the way (that’s not the way)
i wanna live (I wanna live)
i need to change (i need to change)
but something’s got to give
yeah something’s got to
i’ll give give give (until there’s nothing else)
give my all (until it all runs out)
give give (and i’ll have no regrets)
i’ll give until there’s nothing left to give
give give give (until there’s nothing else)
give my all (until it all runs out)
give give
i’ll give until there’s nothing left, i’ll give

Conclusion? I still haven’t made up my mind. Of course, the clock’s still ticking.

So I’m singing these songs for xx in my head… as Time Is Running Out…

 

may i have your attention please

I love talking about me.

Most people do, actually. Give the quietest person in your social circle a chance (and by chance I do mean cultivate entirely wholesome conditions for interactive communication - a good way would be to get them totally, utterly wasted) to talk and they’d probably spend the rest of the day, dear deity, spewing forth paragraphs of unmitigated text, text and I-CAN’T-BELIEVE-IT’S-NOT-BUTTERTEXT whether you could be bothered to listen at all.

:y’know what the problem with that is? you probably wouldn’t listen anyway unless you were:
a) a guy trying to get into a girl’s pants
b) a girl trying to get into a girl’s pants
c) a girl trying

and here i say trying (for the third option) because sometimes i suppose sometimes it’s really gotta feel like crap for the girl knowing that the guy (or deity forbid, guy-like person) on the other end’s only pretending to listen to what she’s talking about.

oh, right, i forgot the last option.

d) a girl talking to another girl… wait, scratch that, sometimes even that isn’t true.

but what do i know, ‘cause really i’m just a figment of a infantile boy’s puerile and yet fascinatingly vivid imagination with the female mentality. so really y’all can just (obscene gesture) off.

:yOu kNoW, sOmEtImEs i fInD iT iNtErEsTiNg hOw i’M aCtUaLly sUpPoSeD tO bE tHe eViL oNe aRoUnD tHeSe pArTs.

Point noted. I’d raise that at the next general assembly of head-figments-of-imagination.

Back to the issue, anyway, I like talking about me. To all my readers (if i have any to begin with), I apologize for this quality of mine that’s already going to be painfully obvious the first few -dozen- times I shove it down your throat.

Y’know, that would probably make me a really good Bond supervillian. Hey, I wouldn’t mind being in the same room as a Bond girl.

::cue ACME Death Machine. Dark’s wearing a exceedingly sharply pressed suit and tuxedo combo, the kind that y’know, might actually stand on itself if you put it down. Sadly, he’s strapped to it (both the tux and the Death Machine.) From somewhere, JD’s disembodied and notably diabolical voice outlines the entire evil evil plan to WORLD DOMINATION MUAHAHA. Unsurprisingly, Light is the requisite Bond Girl. She rolls her eyes.::

:hello? a little originality please?

:iT fLeW oUt oF tHe wInDoW wItH tHe wOrD ACME. nExT tHiNg yOu kNoW wE’rE aLl gOiNg tO bE mAkiNg lAmE-aSs aUsTiN pOwErS qUoT-

:now don’t you even GO there.

::cut to reality::

Yeah, that’s probably why I don’t tend to blog about the things that are happening in my life nows-a-days, but rather prefer to spend it on useless little ditties like these. Expunging my thoughts, beliefs and idiosyncrasies on my darling audience. Deity, I admit, I’m like, so self-centred.

But what’s there to tell about my life anyhow? It’s really kind of sad how I’m living nows-a-days.

:yEaH, wHaT wItH tHe lOcKiNg yOuRsElF uP iN yOuR rOoM aNd sTeWiNg aRoUnD wItH nOtHiNg tO dO.

:oh, but you do have things to do. you have responsibilities to fulfil. things to design. things to plan for.

:sCrEw tHoSe.

:yeah, screw those.

:lOoK, mIsS gOoDy-tWo-sHoEs - wAiT, wHaT?

I’m not that good. I know that for a fact. I don’t can’t have that much faith in my capabilities anymore. It sucks to know that there are people who are expecting you to deliver when you know you’re not going to live up to their expectations. It sucks to know that you’re probably not leaving a horrendously good impression of yourself in other people’s minds. It sucks to attract comfort and pity. It sucks to be lousy.

I know I think too much, that I have too much stuff on my mind all the time,  that because of this I’m leaving all the people I care about out of my internal space. It’s been nearly a month since I saw any of my non-hall friends, even the closer ones in a real outing or social setting and not like, say “Oh, what are you doing in school?”. Thank you, you know who you are, for pointing that out and I’m sorry. I can only hope that I’ll be able to overcome my problems so that I’ll be able to be normal again.

This is my war to fight. You can’t help me when the enemy is myself.

:wHaT aBoUt -

No, not even you two. Besides, in essence, you are me.

That being said, apologies to my family for not going home. Apologies to my closer friends (non-hall) for the extended leave of absence. Apologies to my friends in general for being moody, anti-social, troubled, irritable, sleepy, tired and generally giving you all the vibes and the aura that I don’t give a crock of waste matter about you all. Apologies to all the people I still owe birthday presents, celebrations, money, whatever. Apologies to my hall friends for making you people worry because you’re all really busy and I don’t deserve it.

Ahh (expletive) this isn’t supposed to sound emo but it already is. (expletive expletive expletive) I’m not emo. (looooong expletive).

::cue Monty Python’s Flying Circus theme song::

:aNd nOw fOr sOmEtHiNg cOmPlEtElY dIfFeReNt!

Nic(choy) sent me something really cool today.

Thanks dude. Really appreciate the encouragement. (For those of you who don’t get it, turn it 180 degrees and read it again.)

By the way, next post will be a rant about relationships. So yay, it’ll be more more more entertaining, I swears it. Then again, it won’t neccessarily be less emo.

 

Between all the stress, troubles & sufferings…

Something like this comes along… and makes me smile again. =)

more about “Where The Hell Is Matt? - Videos“, posted with vodpod